Off the Marky Mark

Marky Mark
Talent on Display

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a great guy, “Jonah,” for four months. We get along well and enjoy a lot of the same things. At times he can be jealous when other men notice me, but we have never had arguments about it. Only one thing about me really bothers him — it’s my infatuation with actor Mark Wahlberg.

Jonah is so upset about it he refuses to see any of Mark’s films with me and gets annoyed when I mention him. It irks me because I know being with Mark isn’t a realistic option, but Jonah acts like it is. What can I say to make him see that he (Jonah) is the only one I want to be with and Mark is just a fantasy? — STAR-CROSSED LOVER

Abby, apparently suffering from the same crush, responded with

DEAR STAR-CROSSED: You may have said too much already. Stop bringing up Mark Wahlberg and see his films in the company of your girlfriends. While Jonah may be a “great guy,” he appears to be somewhat insecure, which is why he becomes jealous when another man notices you. And insecure men can become irrational and controlling, so monitor his behavior and do not make any commitments until you both have matured.

You call yourself an advice expert and actually tell someone to go see a Mark Wahlberg film anyway?

Your boyfriend doesn’t have a problem with your fidelity.  It’s your judgement he’s got issues with.  You are swooning over an actor with the range of a baked potato. Sure, he has nice abs, but don’t you find his third nipple a little disturbing?

It is making your boyfriend insecure, because if you can overlook huge obvious flaws in Marky Mark, what are you overlooking in him? Guys need reassurance just as much as women, but when you show just obvious lack of judgement, it makes him have second thoughts about him, and you.

Everyone is entitled to a secret guilty pleasure.  Mine happens to be America’s Funniest Home Videos.  You have chosen to waste yours on the star of Planet of the Apes, I won’t stop you.  Just please, for all of our sakes, keep it to yourself.


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