Mine Mine Mine

I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to figure out that Yahoo Answers! is full of people looking for advice on all sorts of subjects. I present this letter in all it’s un-edited glory.


My mom is renting my sister room cause she moving out and she knows I really want it and she said she going to rent it out to people she doesn’t know if she has to. I think it kinda ****** up that she is doing that.the big problem is that I don’t want a stranger living in my house when my room will be 5 feet away from it . And my mom said it will be a girl it doesn’t matter we can be robed or molested and i have been molested and I dont want it to happen again and it doesn’t matter if it a girl bad things can still happen am I wrong I talked to my mom and if I can’t confence her I’m just going to make sure every person that moves in I will make them move out am I wrong for being mad? Help me please !.!

Shut the fuck up, kid. You throw around the word “my” a lot.  It’s not your anything.  Until you pay the bills and stop being a deadbeat, you get no say.  Nut up. Times are tough. You’re bitching about not getting your choice of room and living with strangers when right now, there are hundreds of starving desperate illegal immigrants in container ships SHITTING IN BUCKETS who would slit your fucking throat open to just deal with your pathetic little problems.

You know who else probably doesn’t want a stranger in your house? Your mom. She probably has to so she can keep the roof over your ungrateful head.  She obviously is sparing her little prince the stress of her financial problems, but 23% of people are underwater on their mortgages, and it looks like your mom is one of them.  So go ahead and try and “make sure every person that moves in moves out,” because you’ll be right behind them. You know what else isn’t fun?  Foster care. Thats where you’ll end up if you drive away your family’s only means of support and you lose the house.

You want help.  Here it is.  Stop making things harder for your poor mother than they already are and get a fucking job. You might actually learn something, since the fry cook next to you probably has a PhD and only took the shitty job because it was all that is available.

Oh, and stop telling people you were molested so casually.  It makes people not believe you.  I sure don’t.  You’ve already said you’re a manipulator who will do what it takes to get rid of people you don’t like. You know who gets molested?  Kids that keep their mouths shut.  Not whiny little crybabies that go bitching to anyone that will listen when they don’t get their way.


Family Values

Today’s entry comes from Ask Amy.

Dear Amy:I come from a very large family — eight sisters and three brothers.

By the time I was 8, my father and mother had both died.

I went to live with my oldest sister (also the oldest child in the family) and her husband and his son. I lived with them until my 18th birthday. When I came home from my after-school job, all of my belongings were on the curb outside our house and the locks were changed. I lived in a rooming house because the other members of the family did not want me to live with them.

Life went on successfully for me and on my 70th birthday, a distant relative told me that my sister was dying of cancer in a hospital in the town I had moved to and she hoped I would visit her.

I had not seen her for almost 50 years. When I walked into her hospital room she cried and then told me that she was actually my birth mother, not my sister. She died the next day.

When I confronted the surviving members of my family, they said they all knew the truth but did not want me in their lives when I was young. I have tried to get close to them but no luck.

Should I forget them and just go on my way?— Ancient Orphan

Jesus Fucking Christ.  The hits just keep on coming.

Pretend for a moment these people aren’t related to you.  They kicked you out with no warning. They didn’t want you around except to tell you on their deathbed that they’ve been lying to you your entire life.  Now try asking your question again without seeming like a complete moron.

Why on earth would you want to have anything to do with these despicable people?  You were lucky enough to escape and avoid them for half a century, and now you want to give them a chance to shit all over your golden years?

The only nice thing they have ever done to stay out of your life all this time. The next time you get a call about a dying relative, ignore it.  If you do go, make sure their last words are “You’re standing on my breathing tube.”